Spring Cleaning at 60

Not the shine the chandelier type or divest of threadbare socks; more a flushing through of those built up bodily toxins! Also not the scheduling of a colonoscopy, if you were wondering! For those in the UK, after the age of fifty, the US medical mafia demand you have a colonoscopy. For them, this is a no brainer. For us, it is a humiliating poop fest culminating in a camera having its way in your colon and producing lovely pictures of pink tunnels you can never unsee. You will never be able to watch the bobsled at the winter olympics and drink gatorade ever again.

This Spring Cleaning urge is the realization that your eating, drinking and exercise habits need to be honed for the next decade.

I am not advocating privations for the purpose of living into triple digits. I simply want to live just a little past my sell by date. I want to be the wizened apple that has sat in the bowl for too long but still promises enough crispness to be palatable.

To achieve said wizened apple status I have added hot mat pilates to my regimen.

I could have added more tennis but perhaps a little variety is in order.

Only thing is, this hot mat stuff is more of a young chick's schtick. Supple, toned, svelte; and as they sweat in the mandated 95 degrees, they glisten. I look in the floor to floor mirror and I see blotchy redness and the first creep of crepe! However, I discovered something sublime: I love the heat. I stretch myself more and I feel wonderful afterwards.

As far as food goes, I've always eaten pretty healthily. I despise donuts and root beer, or the Scottish equivalent, Irn Bru. I can't eat as much as I did either so I don't want to waste my appetite on empty food. Wine, however, is completely different. Not so long ago, a glass of red wine was the champion of antioxidants, the knight on a white horse to your blood vessels and the Einstein for your brain. Now, all alcohol is evil.

Fine; I'm not planning to live past the wizened apple stage, so I'm going to drink my red wine and add one more thing to my repertoire.

Walnuts! Look them up! If these claims are to be believed, we should be on a walnut drip. What do walnuts go well with? Apples, of course.